Idiot seraphim
by Meowzy-chan
Summary: The three guys from Cruxis decide to hire a new Seraphim. Who would be more fit for the job than Zelos? Meanwhile, the chosen comes to the shocking conclusion that he might be gay. we knew it all along! Pairings: ZexLl KrxYu MixGe
1. Prologue

Tales of Symphonia, idiot seraphim.

Disclaimer.

First off, I don't own Tales of Symphonia, or the characters. This counts for all the chapters to come!

Secondly, this story is a bit alternate universed, since it diverts from the original ending. All explained in the prologue below.

Thirdly, I suppose the characters are a bit out of character. This always happens when I write a fanfic. But don't worry. I'll try to keep your image of them intact.

Fourthly, it never hurts to leave a review! And it makes me very happy! So… if you have time… (hint hint)

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Prologue. 

After Colette was kidnapped to the lower levels of the tower of salvation, the gang risked their lives to save her and Martel was awakened for a few minutes, Lloyd was able to convince Mithos there was another way to free the world of discrimination. Therefore Mithos gave up his age of lifeless beings and let Colette go. However, Lloyd still had to defeat Kratos, so Origin would be freed. Then, using the Eternal sword, he reunited the worlds, and bathed the great seed in Derris Kharlan's mana. Lady Mana was awakened, and the great Kharlan tree was born. Having lost the power of the Eternal sword, Derris Kharlan left the planet's orbit, taking Welgaia and Vinheim with it. The three seraphim stayed behind. Having no place to live, they created a new castle in the top of the tower of Salvation, which was still standing. Their battle against discrimination continues. Lloyd returned from his journey to search for exspheres three days after he'd left, due to an incident at the Tethe'alla bridge. He got a new job as guardian of the Kharlan tree. This story starts two months after the worlds were reunited.


	2. Chapter one

Tales of Symphonia, idiot seraphim.

Chapter 1.

"Hey, where are the cornflakes?" Mithos opened one of the empty kitchen cabinets.

"You ate them…" Kratos replied slowly, looking up from his newspaper.

"Now what am I going to eat for breakfast? I demand cornflakes!" Mithos shouted.

"You'll have to wait. Yuan hasn't returned from the store yet."

"The… store?" Mithos sat down and stared at his fellow seraphim.

"Yes. Yuan and me take turns in grocery shopping. Where did you think our food comes from?" Kratos raised an eyebrow.

"Heaven?"

"Just because we call ourselves angels does not mean we get food from heaven." Kratos sighed.

"Well, that's not a very good deal now, is it?" Mithos said irritably. "So when's the food gonna get here?"

"I don't know. Yuan should've been back by now. I'm getting worried." Kratos said, but at that moment the door opened and Yuan walked in. He quickly dropped four large shopping bags on the floor and slumped down on a chair.

"Foooood!" Mithos cheered, lunging towards the bags.

"What took you so long?" Kratos asked.

"I was just outside the tower of Salvation when I found out I'd lost one of the bags. I had to fly all the way back to the grocery store to find it. Then, when I was on my way to the highest floor, the elevator broke down. You won't appreciate the height of the tower until you've had to fly to the top." Yuan sighed, running his fingers through his hair. Kratos patted him on the back sympathetically.

"Oh booohooo!" Mithos said sarcastically, his mouth full of potato chips.

"Say, I was thinking…" Yuan began.

"That's never good." Mithos interrupted him.

"For four thousand years now, we've been called the _four_ Seraphim. But for four thousand years now, it's been only the _three_ of us. Isn't it about time we found a new fourth Seraphim?" the blue haired 'angel' suggested.

"What are you talking about? Martel is the fourth seraphim!" Mithos shouted, getting to his feet.

"Mithos, Martel is gone. After Mana was awakened, she merged with the great Kharlan tree again. Get over it." Yuan sighed.

"No! She's not gone! We'll revive her!" Mithos raged.

"Riiight… Well anyway, until that time comes, we could have a sort of... replacement Martel... Just think about it. One more seraphim means one more soldier in our battle against discrimination. Plus he can help around the castle. I'm sick of pulling your hair out of the showerdrain!" Yuan glared at Mithos.

"You can't prove it's mine!" Mithos growled.

"It's long and blond…"

"Mithos, Yuan has a point." Kratos cut in.

"About the hair?" Mithos asked.

"No! About a fourth seraphim. We lost all our Grand cardinals. Frankly, we need all the help we can get."

"Aw, well, alright. Who did you have in mind? Is it Genis?" Mithos asked with a hungry look in his eyes.

"No, it can't be Genis. A seraphim needs to be an angel, and we promised Lloyd we wouldn't make any more Cruxis crystals." Yuan commented.

"It had better not be Colette!" Kratos growled.

"Oh goddess no!" Yuan replied immediately, shuddering.

"Oooh, I know! How about Lloyd? He's an angel." Kratos suggested.

"No! His wings are too big and shiney. They'll think he's the leader. And he's not!" Mithos cut in.

"I think I know just the guy…" Yuan said suddenly.

And so the guys arrived at a certain mansion in Meltokio half an hour later, where they explained their situation to a certain red-haired chosen.

"So, you want me to be the new fourth seraphim?" Zelos asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes! You're perfect for the job! You've got angel wings, just like us. You've betrayed Lloyd as least once, just like us. And you're gay, just like us!" Yuan said cheerfully.

"Whoah, whoah! Hold on! I'm not gay!" Zelos said, jumping back.

"Who do you think you're kidding? Surely we'd recognise our own kind!" Kratos said, with a slight tone of outrage.

"You're wrong then! I'm straight!" Zelos crossed his arms, and Mithos coughed loudly to hide his laughter.

"So anyway, what do you think?" Yuan asked, getting to the point.

"What's in it for me?" Zelos asked.

"You'll be one of the four seraphim who rule over Cruxis, the desians, and the church of Martel!" Mithos said proudly. Zelos said nothing.

"And you'll live in our castle, and help us free the world of discrimation!" Kratos added.

"Hm…" Zelos was not quite convinced.

"Hunnies love guys with angelic powers." Yuan said suddenly.

"Wow, really? Lemme get my stuff!"

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((A/N: Well? I have to admit, the first chapter isn't as good as the others. But that's because the story is just getting started. Remember, reviewers are the best readers!))


	3. Chapter two

Tales of Symphonia, idiot seraphim.

((A/N: Oh my, look at all reviews! I didn't expect so many already. Okay, time to reply to a few.

**Katandshadow:** Oh, I've read a couple of your stories too! They're good! I hope you'll enjoy this one. There will be plenty of KratosxYuan hints later on. (especially chapter 7 I believe)

**Ri2:** Yes, Yuan did have a thing with Martel, and Kratos did have a son. But hey, Martel died.. Anna died... Those guys have to comfort each other, you know.

**Everyone else:** Thank you sooo much for the reviews! I'm glad you're enjoying this fic! Keep commenting, and I'll keep updating!

And now, enjoy!))

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Chapter 2.

"Sooo, this is Mithos's castle?" Zelos asked, strutting into the main hall as Kratos and Yuan tried to drag his luggage over the doorstep.

"We would prefer if you called it Vinheim the second." Mithos said simply.

"Oh? Well anyway, this looks nice. I was expecting ruins, black voids and a corny throne." Zelos commented, poking one of the statues that decorated the hallway. Mithos coughed loudly.

"We decided to go for a more… cosy look this time." Yuan mumbled. "You should've seen Vinheim the first… There were hundreds of libraries, stairs that lead nowhere, and random angels everywhere. Just leering at you as you passed."

"So where are those angels now? This place looks deserted." Zelos said, looking around.

"They were stupid enough to stay in the castle as Lloyd used the eternal sword. So they're probably floating around space somewhere by now." Mithos grunted.

"I'm glad they're gone. I just know they were laughing at me behind my back." Yuan growled.

"I know. I put them up to it." Mithos sniggered, before ducking to avoid one of Zelos's suitcases that was thrown at his head.

"Hey, guys! Easy with my stuff!" Zelos shouted.

"You can carry it yourself from now on. Bedrooms are on the second floor. Just find yourself an empty one and dump it there." Kratos said, turning away.

"Wait! Aren't you going to give me a tour? I could get lost!" Zelos said.

"Oh, don't worry. This castle's design is similar to Vinheim the first. Only the first two stories are useful. The other five are filled with empty rooms and random junk. You can imagine that we have gathered quite a lot after four thousand years. Also, there are a couple of treasure chests the average RPG-er would enjoy. Though I should warn you to stay away from the third floor corridor. Mithos locked one of his 'pets' in there. It's very big, with sharp fangs." Kratos said lightly.

"You leave Mr. Snuggles out of this!" Mithos shouted.

"S-Snuggles? Fangs?" Zelos stuttered.

"Yes. Well, you have fun now! Dinner's at six!" Yuan said cheerfully, and the three Seraphim headed for the living room, leaving Zelos alone with his bags.

Ofcourse the new Seraphim was late for dinner, because it took him a very long time to find the kitchen, only to realize they were going in to eat in the dining room.

"Jeez, a lot of stairs here lead to dead ends!" Zelos complained.

"It's to confuse burglars." Kratos shrugged.

"As if a burglar would be crazy enough to think of coming here. Anyway, what's for dinner?"

"Muskrat meatballs!" Yuan said proudly, dropping a large pot on the table.

"Musk…rat…" Zelos repeated.

"Oh boy! My favourite!" Kratos cheered.

"I still say it tasted like canned ham." Mithos complained. Yuan replied by throwing his pink oven-mitts at him.

"Oh no! You don't think a man of my stature would eat muskrat?Hold on for a sec." Zelos said, taking a cellphone out of his pocket. The other seraphim stared at each other in confusion.

"Yo man, it's Zelos. I've got an emergency here. Could you come over?" the red-haired chosen asked the person on the other side of the line, before hanging up again.

"Who did you call?" Mithos asked.

"All will become clear." Zelos said simply. Suddenly, a postman came in with a large package.

"I've got a delivery here for a Mr… Cruxis?" the postman said, staring at the form.

"Cruxis is the organisation…" Mithos growled.

"Whatever. Sign here please." Postman said, and Zelos quickly signed the paper. "Have a nice day."

"Later, Mr. Mailman!" Zelos called.

"Okay, two questions. One, how did that mailman get here? And two, what's in the package?" Yuan asked. Zelos walked over to the large box and placed his hand on it. There was a loud bang and an explosion of smoke. When it cleared away, a man with a large chefs hat and a red cape was standing where the package was. He carried afork almost as big as himself.

"I am the mysterious gourmet, the wonderchef!" he called dramatically.

"Yo, bud! Listen, these guys wanna feed me muskrat. So I'm thinkin', that's not gonna happen. Could you teach them some decent recipes?" Zelos asked.

"Certainly." The wonderchef nodded. Soon Yuan, Kratos and Mithos had learned how to make pizza, french-fries, hamburgers, noodles, lasagna, gratin, union rings and thanksgiving turkey.

"Wow, thanks wonderchef!" Mithos said happily.

"Farewell!" wonderchef called, raising his extra large fork and disappearing with a bang of smoke.

"So, let's throw those meatballs out the window and eat something decent!" Zelos said happily.

* * *

((In case you didn't know, yes, you can explore Vinheim the first in the game. I didn't notice until my second playthrough. There are indeed a whole lot of useless stairs, libraries, and random angels to battle.

I'll leave for a Dutch anime convention tomorrow, meaning I won't be able to update all weekend. Don't worry, next chapter will be Sunday night or somewhere on Monday!))


	4. Chapter three

Tales of Symphonia, idiot seraphim.

((A/N: Ooooh, more reviews! Let's reply to some!

**Ri2:** Where'd they get the muskrats? Well, I suppose that during those days 4000 years ago, there were no supermarkets and they were forced to catch their food. Yuan could easily remember the recipe, and muskrats arestill around.Heheh.

**Scorch the hedgehog:** You don't like yaoi? Well, there isn't any real yaoi in here. Just lots of subtle hints. All the real action is backstage. (evil grin)

**Luciado:**I think that if they throw a meatball out of the top of the tower, it would soon reach the speed of a small meorite. I mean, the tower does reach into theheavens and all. I suppose that if they throw the meatballs out the window, they could totally destroy Heimdall and... Oh wait, that actually happened in the game. Only with pieces of the tower instead of meatballs.

**Everyone else:** I love you people! Enjoy this chapter!))

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Chapter 3.

"Okay, time to head for the meeting room." Kratos decided after the guys had finished their dinner.

"Meeting room?" Zelos repeated.

"Yes, it's time we explain the rules of being an angel, and what your tasks are." Yuan said, getting to his feet.

"But that sounds boring…" Zelos complained loudly. He was ignored.

They arrived at the 'Meeting room' five minutes later. Zelos, who had been expecting a long table surrounded by chairs, was surprised to see that it was more like a classroom. Yuan sat down in a corner, while Mithos sat down in one of the front seats. Zelos took one of the chairs next to the window, and Kratos remained standing in front of a blackboard.

"Alright guys, we welcome our newest member, Zelos, into the group." He said solemnly. Zelos saw Mithos glaring at him, as Yuan waved merrily.

"Now, it's time to explain the rules of Seraphimhood. You should take notes Zelos!" Kratos said.

"But I don't have a pen or paper…" Zelos said slowly.

"Not a very good first impression." Kratos shook his head. "Anyway, we of Cruxis have but one main rule. Don't go showing off your wings or other angelic powers."

"But I accepted this job to impress the hunnies!" Zelos stuttered.

"Tough luck kid." Kratos remarked. Mithos sniggered quietly. "But you should be happy. Now that you're a real seraphim, you won't age a day."

"One of the few positive things…" Zelos muttered quietly.

"Outch! Kratos, Yuan threw a paper airplane at me!" Mithos called suddenly, clutching a small folded plane.

"Yuan, behave yourself!" Kratos barked.

"Yes Kratos…" Yuan mumbled, staring at the floor. Kratos continued by drawing a sketch of an angel and explaining how to control to mana in your body to stop the ageing process. Zelos found this all very boring.

"Zelos, did you get all that? No questions?" Kratos asked suddenly.

"Huh? Uh, no, it was all very clear." Zelos lied.

"The Cruxis's main objective is to rid the world of discrimination. We promised Lloyd we would give up the age of lifeless beings, so that means we must try another approach. This being protesting, and radical actions. Which brings me to the topic of last weeks meeting, Project FEZ." Kratos pulled a string and the blueprint of a large building came down, covering the blackboard. "FEZ, short for Free the Elves of Sybak. For too long have those poor half-elves been trapped in the academy of Sybak. We are going to break in there, and free them all."

"But… Ever since the pope was relieved of his position, the elves aren't forced to do research there anymore. Those who are still there, are there of their own free will." Zelos said slowly.

"That's where you're wrong. Those half-elves are too intimidated to leave. So we will tunnel our way into the cafeteria, round up all the elves, and set the place on fire!" Kratos said fiercely. Mithos cheered loudly.

"But… Isn't that a bit too… harsh? Shouldn't you atleast give them a warning?" Zelos asked.

"We have. Why, just five days ago Yuan barged in there with a megaphone, shouted 'Free the half-elves!' and threw a couple of smoke bombs in the main hall."

"The guards chased me with very large clubs…" Yuan said sadly.

"However, the main problem remains. Where do we leave the half-elves? Exire is becoming too crowded after we saved the elves from the Elemental research facility." Kratos said.

"That was you guys? It was all over the news! Everyone thought they were kidnapped! And their guess wasn't that far off…" Zelos laughed.

"Oh, I know! We can dump them at the Meltokio slums!" Mithos said, bouncing up and down in his chair.

"No! That would only make their situation worse!" Zelos said loudly.

"Then what do you suggest we do?"

"Let them go wherever they want to go. If you want them to be free, they should be able to decide for themselves."

"Very well. All in favour?" Kratos asked. Yuan and Mithos nodded. "Motion passed. Now, for the next topic on our agenda. Lloyd is throwing a party tonight because Raine and Genis returned from their travels for a few weeks."

"Really? Genis is back?" Mithos asked happily.

"All in favour of crashing the party and getting drunk beyond all reason?"

"Hell yeah!" Yuan called.

"Uhm… I don't have to crash the party… I got an invitation…" Zelos said weakly.

"What? Lloyd invited _you_, but not his own father? His flesh and blood?" Kratos growled. Zelos shrugged in response.

"That means we won't have to crash the party! Zelos can take us with him!" Mithos said happily.

"Fine by me." Zelos shrugged again.

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((Oooh, a party at Lloyd's place? I think most of you can see where this is going...))


	5. Chapter four

Tales of Symphonia, idiot seraphim.

((A/N: Heheh, reviews. Heheheh...

**Art vincent Musicanova:** Yes, Sybak is spelled with an S. But I wanted to give the operation a funny name (You know what a fez is, right?) and I wanted to show the level of education 4000 years ago was not that high. Or maybe the guys from Cruxis are just idiots...

**Katandshadow and Me-Oh-My:** Yes, yaoi would be cool... but I don't write yaoi. So all the good stuff happens backstage... eheheh...

**Ri2:** Radical stuff better than the age of lifeless beings? Well, I depends just how radical the guys are gonna get.

**Luciado:** Muskrat!

**Everyone else:** I luv your reviews! I give you cookies! (hands out cookies to everyone, including those on the list))

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Chapter 4.

Zelos woke up the next morning with a monstrous hangover. It took him about a minute to remember where he was, as he stared blankly at the ceiling above him. Man, that had been one heck of a party. Zelos remembered talking to Sheena, and drinking lots of beer. After that it was all one big blur. He supposed he was too drunk to go back to Vinheim last night, because this was obviously Lloyd's place. He raised his hand and ran it through his hair. Suddenly, something stirred beside him. Zelos turned over in the hopes of seeing a beautiful hunnie, to receive a nasty shock instead. A loud, high-pitched shriek ran through the house, and Lloyd Irving opened his eyes just in time to see something with orange wings jump out the window.

Kratos, Yuan and Mithos stared at the red-haired chosen who came bursting into the kitchen as they were having breakfast.

"Ah… Hey Zelos. Back from Lloyd's place?" Mithos asked.

"Obviously. Listen, the strangest thing happened to me. I… I… woke up next to Lloyd this morning!" Zelos said, expecting to see surprised or even shocked faces. But his fellow seraphim merely blinked.

"We kinda… saw that one coming." Yuan said after a moment of silence.

"But nothing could've happened, right? It was just the alcohol, right?" Zelos pressed.

"Listen, Zelos. I don't mind you screwing my son, but don't you dare break his heart!" Kratos said fiercely.

"No! I'm not like you people! I'm straight!" Zelos shouted. There was another moment of silence. After that the three seraphim were doubled up with laughter.

"Stop laughing! It's true!" Zelos said furiously.

"Zelos, let me ask you something. What kind of shampoo do you use?" Yuan asked, wiping the tears from his eyes.

"Peach with a hint of apple… Why?"

"What kind of swimtrunks?"

"Speedos."

"And you can braid hair?"

"Well, yes… but…"

"Heck, you're even more gay than Mithos!" Yuan exclaimed.

"Hey, that's discrimination! Stop discriminating!" Mithos shouted.

"It's not discrimination. It's simple mockery." Yuan sniggered. Mithos grumbled some incoherent words.

"Listen, I'm not gay!" Zelos said.

"Ah, I remember when I was still in denial…" Yuan said nostalgically, resting his head on his hands.

"Yeah… Those were the days… I even got a kid out of it!" Kratos nodded.

"You bastard! That means you only used Martel because you were in denial! You never loved her!" Mithos shouted.

"Yes I did! I could talk to her about all sorts of girly stuff. And then she would hold me in her strong, manly arms… sniff... MARTEL, WHYYYYY!" Yuan burst out into tears, hiding his face in his hands. Kratos put his arms around him to try and comfort him.

"Erm… Riiight… I'll be in my room…" Zelos said vaguely, hurrying away from the kitchen.

A few days later Zelos was awoken by a loud yell.

"Hey, idiot! Wake up!"

"Ehhh?…" Zelos opened his eyes to see Mithos standing in front of him. "What time is it?"

"Four o'clock."

"Go away…" Zelos muttered, hiding under blanket.

"Get out of bed, lazy bum! It's time for operation FEZ!" Mithos called.

"Operation whatnow?"

"Operation FEZ! Free the Elves of Sybak! Kratos and Yuan finished the tunnel just now."

"Aw god, not this again." Zelos muttered.

"Get dressed! We'll be waiting downstairs." Mithos left the room.

"Why did I take this job again?" Zelos wondered aloud, dragging himself out of bed.

* * *

((Wondering what happened to the others at the party? Well, Mithos and Genis disappeared into the toolshed, and Kratos and Yuan left early, after having a couple of beers. Lots of privacy at the Tower of salvation. Heheheheh...)) 


	6. Chapter five

Tales of Symphonia, idiot seraphim.

((A/N: Yeah, it's me again. Boy, I update fast don't I? But I have to, because the chapters are so short.

**Blackdrak:** Wow, thanks. So many compliments in one review...

**Art Vincent Musicanova: **Nah, Kratos's haircut isn't gay. It's a cool, wild haircut, but not gay. You should sue Namco for stealing that haircut!

**Me-Oh-My: **Did they really? Mheheheheh... Most possibly, yes. Hey, I havea number one fan! Yay!

**Everyone else:** Glad you're all liking the story. Enjoy the next chapter!

* * *

Chapter 5.

"Damn, it's so cramped in here…." Zelos complained, as the four Seraphim were crouching in a long but narrow tunnel.

"This is the best we could do in such short notice." Kratos shrugged.

"Hurry up! I'm claustrophobic!" Yuan called.

"Hey, how about we have a looong lunchbreak in here?" Mithos sniggered. Yuan tried desperately to strangle the little twerp, but couldn't reach him because Kratos was in the way.

"Mithos, just hurry okay?" Kratos asked desperately.

"Yeah yeah." Mithos took out the blueprint of the academy to double-check. "If all went well, we should be right underneath the cafeteria now. It's seven o clock, so the elves are having breakfast. We will lead them all safely into the tunnel, before setting the place on fire. If we are discovered by the guards, Yuan will act as a decoy."

"I never agreed to that." Yuan growled.

"Alright, let's go!" Mithos transformed into his alterego Yggdrasill. Zelos couldn't help but hum the 'Saturday night fever' song. Yggdrasill threw a quick glare at him, before moving the tile above his head. The others quickly crawled out after him, and arrived in the middle of the Research academy's cafeteria. All the half-elves stared at them suspiciously.

"Uhm… Hear ye, half-elves of Sybak! Your salvation is nigh!" Yggdrasill called. The elves stared at them even more. "We, the angels of Cruxis, who act in the name of the goddess Martel, have come to set you free!"

"E-excuse me?" asked one of the half-elves.

"You will no longer be forced to do useless research! Instead, you will be able to roam free! Like the animals!"

"What the…" another half-elf exclaimed.

"Now, hurry into this small and cramped tunnel, so we can torch this place to the ground!" Yggdrasill called.

"Go away, you creeps!" a scrawny half-elf ran at Yggdrasill and started punching him madly.

"Ah! Outch! This is for your own good! Eeek! Stop beating me up, you inferior being!" Yggdrasill shouted. This was a big mistake. Suddenly, all four Seraphim were buried under a pile of raging research elves.

"Not the face!" Zelos shrieked, trying to keep the elves from beating the life out of him.

"Help!" Yuan shouted, jumping on top of a table, which was quickly overturned.

"Stop! Leave them alone!" called a familiar voice. The half-elves immediately stepped away from the Seraphim.

"K-Kate!" Zelos stuttered, crawling to his feet.

"Chosen, what are you doing here with these maniacs?" Kate asked in a surprised voice.

"Well, I…"

"Who are you calling maniacs?" Yggdrasill cut in.

"You people. What are you thinking? This place is our home!" Kate called. The other researchers nodded.

"Kate, what are you doing here? I thought you were in Ozette?" Zelos asked.

"I returned a few weeks ago. Being free is highly overrated." Kate rolled her eyes.

"So, you're saying you want to stay here, and be discriminated?" Yggdrasill asked suspiciously.

"We're not being discriminated here. We get decent pay now. Even more than some humans." Kate grinned.

"Oh… Well, if anyone wants to escape… We'll leave the tunnel open..." Yggdrasill said slowly. Zelos took a quick look around. Yuan had been knocked out cold, and Kratos had mysteriously disappeared.

"Did anyone see where the brown-haired man, Kratos, went?" he asked.

"He jumped into the tunnel before we could get to him." said one of the elves.

"What a wimp." Yggdrasill rolled his eyes.

"Thanks for saving us Kate. Bye!" Zelos called, grabbing Yuan by his cape and dragging him into the tunnel.

"So, you're sure you're not being discriminated?" Yggdrasill asked one last time.

"We're sure." Kate glared at him.

"Ah. Well, can I have a sandwich then? We skipped breakfast."

"Sure." Kate handed him a couple of sandwiches.

"Thanks. You half-elves are alright. Uhm, I mean, you researchers are alright. No! I mean… Uh… Bye!" Yggdrasill quickly jumped into the tunnel.

"Was he discriminating us?" One of the half-elves raised her eyebrow, before they quickly closed off the tunnel.

* * *

((I enjoyed writing this chapter a lot.Heeheeh. "Not the face!" So much for operation FEZ))


	7. Chapter six

Tales of Symphonia, idiot seraphim.

((A/N: Yeah, I decided to update today already. But this is a pretty lousy chapter anyway. Most people think it lacks humour. sigh...

**Katandshadow: **OMG, that is such a good idea! I'm using that one!

**Scorch the hedgehog:** And better? Well, I'm afraid this chapter will be a bit worse.

**Blackdrak:** More shonen-ai? I've got some huge hints in later chapters.

**Everyone else:** Uhm... Want more cookies? (hands out cookies again))

* * *

Chapter 6.

A few days passed, and Zelos was slowly adjusting to life with the three seraphim. It was quite hectic and unorganised. Especially because Mithos and Yuan kept arguing with each other.

"Did you eat the last peanut butter again, shortie?"

"I'm not short!"

"Yes you are! Stupid little twerp!"

"I can kick your ass any day!" Mithos transformed into Yggdrasill and towered over Yuan.

"Why do the words 'Disco fever' suddenly pop into my head?"

"Shut up, ponytails! Judgement!" rays of light rained down on Yuan, who quickly avoided them.

"You need to work on your aim, blondie!" Yuan stuck out his tongue and ran for it.

"Get back here and face me, coward!" Yggdrasill shouted, running after him.

"You'd think that after four thousand years they would have settled their differences." Zelos said slowly.

"Yes. You'd think that wouldn't you?" Kratos continued reading his newspaper. Suddenly, the doorbell rang.

"Eh? We have a doorbell?" Zelos asked.

"Yes. But we never get visitors… I wonder who it is." Kratos got up and headed for the front door. Zelos decided to follow.

Kratos opened the door and blinked for a second.

"Hey dad. And Zelos…" Lloyd said awkwardly.

"HelloKratos. Is Mithos home? Raine and me will be leaving on our travels again soon, so I wanted to say goodbye." Genis explained, looking around.

"Sure. Hold on." Kratos turned around. "MITHOS! Visitor!" he shouted. There was a loud shout from somewhere on the second floor and Mithos came flying down the stairs.

"Genis! Hiii!" he called happily.

"Hey Mithos!" Genis smiled. The two boys quickly ran off somewhere. Suddenly, Yuan came down the stairs clutching his nose. Everyone stared at him.

"What happened this time?" Kratos asked slowly.

"Stupid kid punched me in the face." Yuan said angrily.

"Icepack time." Kratos rolled his eyes and led Yuan to the kitchen, leaving Lloyd and Zelos alone in the hallway. The seraphim coughed awkwardly.

"You uhm... forgot this at my place." Lloyd said slowly, taking a pair of underpants out of his pocket and holding it up.

"Th-that's not mine!" Zelos stuttered, going red.

"They're pink, and the label says 'property of the great Zelos'…" Lloyd raised an eyebrow.

"Gimme that!" Zelos quickly snatched the underwear from Lloyd's grasp. There was a long silence.

"So… How've you been?" Lloyd asked.

"Oh, you know. Got beaten up by a gang of half-elves in Sybak… Same old…" Zelos shifted on his feet.

"Ah. Listen, about the party…" Lloyd began.

"Hah… Yeah… Nothing happened, right?"

"No… Ofcourse not." Lloyd stared at the floor.

"Good."

"Well, I'll be back at five o' clock to pick up Genis, okay?"

"Yeah. Yeah, you do that."

"Later…" Lloyd turned around and headed for the warp pad that led to the elevator. Zelos quickly closed the door.

The red-haired seraphim returned to the kitchen to find Yuan sitting on Kratos's lap and pressing a bag of ice-cubes against his face.

"Zelos, the grocery list is getting a bit long. Could you hurry to the supermarket?" Kratos asked.

"Yeah, okay." Zelos nodded and grabbed a shopping bag. Yuan muttered something, but it was a bit muffled due to the icepack. "What did he say?" Zelos asked.

"He said 'Don't forget the peanutbutter'. But I think we'll need some painkillers too. " Kratos replied. Yuan nodded, clutching the icepack.

"Alrighty." Zelos hurried to the store, and made sure he didn't return until far after five o' clock.

* * *

((Bad chapter, wasn't it? It seemed a bit filler-ish. But next chapter will make up for it! Big time!))


	8. Chapter seven

Tales of Symphonia, idiot seraphim.

((A/N: Another quick update! whieeeh!

**Epsalon X:** Oh, my fanfics _can_ make a difference! I knew it all along! And yes, I will keep up the good work!

**Scorch the hedgehog:** Hmm... I never thought about that. Well, I suppose that if Yuan were to fight in his angel form, he could use Judgement. I mean, I think Zelos could do that too... Not sure though.

**Katandshadow:** Yeah, I read Yggdrasill's dance party. It's pretty funny. Too bad it's Yggdrasill who has a crush on Yuan, and not Kratos. Unless Kratos secretly has one too. And then he and Yggdrasill can do a battle to the death over Yuan's sexy body! (_Fangirl grin_)

**Great beaver:** Hm... The link to your group isn't working. Which is too bad, because I want to join! Can you perhaps e-mail the link to me? My address is in my profile!

**Everyone else:** You love me! You really love me! (_Hugs you all_))

* * *

Chapter 7.

A few more days passed and nothing interesting happened. Zelos was starting to get a bit bored. He'd thought members of Cruxis would spend their time fighting monsters, not knitting teacosies. So Zelos decided to explore the rest of the castle, in the hopes of finding some treasure. He had already raided Kratos's weapon closet, and was wandering one of the lone corridors.

"_I need some action! Something… Anything!" _He thought desperately. Suddenly, he found himself facing a large door. Not bothering to think things through, he pushed it open and walked over the threshold. The door immediately closed behind him.

"_That's odd…"_ Zelos pulled with all his might, but he couldn't open it anymore. Suddenly, he heard a strange sniffing sound behind him. He turned around to come face to face with a bunny. But not just any bunny. It was a fifteen-foot tall, foaming, rabid monster bunny.

"M-Mr. Snuggles?" Zelos stuttered. Mr. Snuggles stared back at him with beady eyes, the colour of blood.

"Ah… Nice Mr. Snuggles… I'm not a carrot!" Zelos tried to open the door again without making any sudden movements. It remained locked.

"_I wanted action, but not this!"_ Zelos pushed his back against the wall and slowly side-stepped away from the door, in hopes of finding another one. Mithos's pet however, was intent on blocking the way.

"_Now what am I going to do? I'll be killed! Or even worse! Maimed! My beautiful body will be scarred forever! The hunnies will be devastated! Then I'd just as well throw myself off this tower. Quick and painless. Although…Not that quick. It is a tall tower… I wonder if Lloyd would cry at my funeral. Wait, why am I thinking of Lloyd when I'm about to be eaten? Were Kratos and Yuan right all along? No, it couldn't be! Could it? Yet all the evidence seems to point towards it. Perhaps it's best if I face it before this creature rips me apart limb from limb. Otherwise I'd never be in peace, and I'd be haunting this castle forever. And they'd put my picture on postage stamps, and souvenir mugs, and I guess that would be kind of cool, but still."_ Mr. Snuggles snarled loudly and stalked towards Zelos, a hungry look in his bunny eyes.

"Okay! I'm gay! Are you happy now! Go ahead and eat me!" Zelos shouted, closing his eyes. Mr Snuggles roared grumpily, ready to attack, but suddenly the door banged open.

"Bad Mr. Snuggles! Get back!" called Mithos's voice.

"Zelos, are you okay?" came Kratos's voice. Zelos opened one of his eyes to see Kratos and Yuan staring at him.

"Is this heaven? Are you angels?" he asked.

"Idiot. We told you to stay away from this corridor." Kratos turned back to watch Mithos shoo the evil monster rabbit into a corner.

"You're lucky we heard you shout, otherwise we wouldn't have found you in time. So you've finally accepted it eh?" Yuan grinned. Zelos turned red.

"Yes... I suppose I did."

"Well, good for you. It's not healthy to keep denying it and… Hey, is that my sword?" Kratos interrupted himself in mid-sentence, staring at the sword around Zelos's waist.

"What? You weren't using it or anything." Zelos quickly hurried away, as Yuan tried to keep a raging Kratos from lunging at the redhead.

The next day Zelos and Mithos were having a manicure when everything suddenly turned black.

"Aaaargh! I've gone blind! My beautiful blue eyes will never see the light of day again!" Zelos shouted wildly.

"No you idiot, you have not gone blind. The lights have been cut off. I told Kratos to pay the mana bill on time, but did he listen? Nooo!" Mithos raged.

"Cut off?" Zelos repeated.

"Yes. Our lights work with magitechnology. If we don't pay for the mana, we'll get cut off. That's the way the normal world functions."

"Well, where are Yuan and Kratos?"

"Over at the Renegade base."

"We have to go and get them!" Zelos exclaimed.

"I wouldn't recommend it. The last time I went there I caught them running around wearing nothing but towels."

"Well, that's not so b-"

"The towels were around their heads." Mithos said sharply. Zelos could feel his jaw drop in shock and horror.

"Well uhm… I'll go over to the mana company and see if I can get them to give us the mana back. You just… stay put." Zelos tried to get to the door, but tripped over something.

"Get off me! I can't breathe!" Mithos gasped.

* * *

((Heheh, I can just see Yuan and Kratos running around naked, with towels on their heads! Muahahahah! Please keep in mind that the Renegade base is empty nowadays. There are**no** more random Renegades hanging around.))

((And yes, mr. Snuggles is one of those scary albino bunnies that hang around near Iselia. 'Cept for the fact that mr. Snuggles is... a whole lot taller and deadlier.))


	9. Chapter eight

Tales of Symphonia, idiot seraphim.

((A/N: Updating daily is becoming a habit... Oh dear...

**Art Vincent Musicanova: **It seems like it's from Harry potter? Well, I suppose I did kind of... steal that 'corridor on the third floor, giant monster' thing. All credit goes to J.K. Rowling! Dont sue me! Mr. Snuggles however, really is my own creation.

**Scorch the hedgehog:** Mithos is allowed to have a pet, is he not? Keeping in mind that the kid is over four thousand years old, I suppose he's had quite a lot of pets by now. And if you liked operation FEZ, you may rejoice over the fact that the guys will do more radical things like this later on. (next chapter, as a matter of fact.)

**Katandshadow: **Eternal souls... That's so cute... _(Hugs Yuan and Kratos) _Well, they won't show up in this chapter, but next chapter is going to make up for it. BIG time! _(Evil grin)_

**Carscard:** I never thought about that... Wouldn't it depend on the fabric of Zelos's pants? I mean, if it's really thick, and the pink colour is a bit light, I don't think the underpants would be noticeable. (yay, I have a fan in Mexico!)

**Everyone else: **Thank you for reviewing! Today's present: Roses! _(Hands out a rose to everyone who reviewed)_

Zelos: "Hey, who stole my bouquet of roses?"

Uhoh! Run!))

* * *

Chapter 8. 

Half an hour later Zelos was sitting in the waiting room of the Mana company, after having to fly down the Tower of salvation because the elevator wasn't working anymore. He'd demanded to see the company's president at once, and, after threatening with his sword, the secretary had told him to wait there.

"_So… bored… And there's nobody here to talk to… Oh, I know! I'll read a magazine!"_ Zelos looked at the stack of magazines.

"_Playboy! Excellent!"_ Zelos reached out to grab it, but stopped halfway. _"Wait.. there's a Playgirl magazine too…With lots of handsome guys. I mean, I did admit I'm gay…But then again, old habits are hard to dispose of. And if anyone catches me with that magazine, my reputation will be ruined! But…Playgirl is so temping… Such a dilemma!"_ Zelos's hand floated over the magazines as he tried to make up his mind.

_'Must… see… naked… guys… Nooo! It's bad karma!'_ Zelos's right hand secretly reached out for the Playgirl. He quickly grabbed his wrist with his left hand, and tried to pull it back.. 

"Uhm, sir?"

Zelos jumped and looked around. The secretary had returned. He quickly pulled both his hands back and tried to look innocent.

"Mr. Irving will see you now." The secretary hurried out of the room.

"_Irving? What a coincidence…"_ Zelos got to his feet and walked over to the door of the president's office. He knocked and pushed it open.

"Lloyd! What are you doing here? Did you kidnap the president?" Zelos stared at Lloyd, who was sitting behind the desk.

"No you fool, I _am_ the president! Didn't you know?" Lloyd raised an eyebrow.

"I only know you quit your search for expheres because you got arrested after stealing them from the Tethe'alla bridge. Hahah, all those boats crashing into it because it couldn't open anymore! I was laughing for days!" Zelos chuckled.

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention that anymore." Lloyd flushed.

"So how did you get such a fancy job as this?"

"Well, you know I'm the guardian of the Kharlan tree, right? So basically, I own it."

"Oh yeah. What did you name it again?" Zelos asked, thinking.

"Splinter."

"Heheheh. Splinter."

"Anyway, In order to make sure the tree doesn't use up too much mana and dies, I can decide who gets mana, and who doesn't." Lloyd explained.

"That's pretty smart." Zelos admitted.

"So, what brings you here?" Lloyd asked.

"Oh! Well… Heheh, you know Kratos, he's a silly guy. He forgot to pay the mana bill. And now the entire Tower of salvation is without power." Zelos chuckled lightly, but Lloyd raised his eyebrow. "So… uhm… Can you send us mana again?"

"I'm sorry. But if you don't pay, you don't get mana." Lloyd shook his head.

"Please! I can't polish my nails if I can't see which colour I'm using!" Zelos said, before realising his mistake. "Oh! Did I say polish my nails? I meant… errr… paint my room!"

"Riiight!"

"Anyway, please hook us up to the mana flow again! You wouldn't leave me in the dark like this would you? And what about your father? Your own flesh and blood? Would you let him down like that?" Zelos pleaded, trying the good old puppy eyes technique.

"Oh, alright. But you're paying again next month, or you'll never get mana again!" Lloyd threatened.

"Thanks bud!" Zelos hopped to his feet and got ready to give Lloyd a big hug like the good old days. However, halfway he decided that might be a mistake, and extended his hand. Lloyd stared.

"Come on! Shake!" Zelos said.

"Ah… Alright." Lloyd shook Zelos's hand, a slight look of disappointment on his face. "Is it just me, or is there something different about you?"

"Oh? Well, I recently admitted that I'm gay. And frankly, it's quite a relief."

"Did you just wink at me?" Lloyd raised his eyebrow once again.

"I did? Oops. I mean… Oh, look behind you!" Zelos pointed at the empty space behind Lloyd, and quickly ran out the door. As he walked through the waiting room again, he saw the secretary staring at him suspiciously. He glared back at her, and hurried back to the Tower of salvation. Sadly, he had to wait a couple of hours before the elevator started to work again. Flying to the top simply wasn't an option.

* * *

((Though I faintly remember that in the first chapter, Yuan DID fly all the way to the top. Does that make Zelos lazy, or Yuan stupid?))

((Yes, the Kharlan tree is named Splinter! You try thinking of a funny name for a very very large tree...))

((Does Lloyd's new job make sense to everyone? Well, it does to me.))


	10. Chapter nine

Tales of Symphonia, idiot seraphim.

((A/N: And just to make sure all you KratosxYuan fans won't have to wait on the edge of their seats one more day, I update again!

**Katandshadow: **Is the tree really called Yggdrasill? I mean, in tales of Phantasia, is that the same tree? Because I thought all those games were set in different worlds...

**Scorch the hedgehog:** I suppose they're all a bit idiotic. Hence the title, idiot seraphim. The plural of seraphim is... seraphim! Lol! Then again, Iguess Kratos isn't stupid. He's the smartest of the bunch.

**Everyone else:** Enjoy this chapter!Yay!))

* * *

Chapter 9. 

As more than a week had passed, it was time for another Cruxis meeting. However, since Yuan and Kratos still hadn't returned from the Renegade base, Mithos decided to do it without them.

"Shouldn't we wait until they get back?" Zelos asked, sitting down behind one of the desks.

"No. It could take days. That base is Yuan's second house." Mithos shook his head. "Besides, we've got more pressing matters."

"Such as?"

"Our next step in anti discrimination. I've printed out these lovely pamphlets, and we're going to hand them out in all the cities and villages. I suggest we start with Triet. I need a good tan." Mithos held up a colourful pamphlet, depicting two stick figures holding hands. The text read _'Free the world of discrimination, so we can live in harmony. Support the Cruxis organisation of angels!'_

"What's that drawing supposed to be?" Zelos asked, tilting his head slightly.

"It's a human and a half elf! Isn't it obvious?"

"No…"

"Nobody understands art..." Mithos sighed. "Anyway, let's get going."

"Do I have to?" Zelos whined.

"If you want to get your pay, yes."

"You're not paying me at all!"

"Ohhh, right. Why are you still here?"

"I keep asking myself that same question." The redhead muttered.

Soon Zelos was dragged along to Triet, and stood at the market square with Yggdrasill.

"Excuse me! Sir!" Zelos called, waving a pamphlet, but the passers by simply passed by. "Mith- I mean Yggdrassil! This is useless! Let's go!" he sighed.

"No! You just have to try harder! It's a long road to a world free of discrimination." Yggdrasill said, stuffing a flyer in an unsuspecting woman's handbag. Zelos sighed again and turned to a man who was just passing by.

"Hey sir! Have a flyer! End discrimination!" he said quickly, pushing a pamphlet in the guy's hands.

"Are you calling me a racist?" the man asked suspiciously.

"No! I was hoping that you would spread the word to your friends and-"

"Oh! So now you're calling my friends racists too?" the man barked, rolling up his sleeve.

"Ah! No! I just…" Zelos stepped back, holding up his hands in defense. "Yggdrasill! A little help!"

"No, you foolish girl! They're not trees! They're a human and a half-elf!" Yggdrasill was shouting at a little girl on the other side of the square. The girl started to cry loudly.

"Get 'm!" shouted a random guy, and soon Zelos and Yggdrasill were being chased out of town by a mob carrying torches and pitchforks.

"Yggdrasill, we have to fly away!" Zelos shouted.

"No! We can't expose ourselves as being angels! Don't worry, Yuan's base should be near here! Just keep running!" Yggdrasill replied.

"Heretics! Maniacs! Die!" the mob shouted.

"Leave us alone! And what's with the torches anyway? It's broad daylight!" Yggdrasill shouted.

The seraphim soon reached a large fence that surrounded the Renegade base. They quickly ran through it and barricaded it with a small twig. The mob pulled at it angrily, not able to open it.

"Hurry! They're gonna climb over the fence!" Zelos shouted anxiously, looking back.

"It's locked!" Yggdrasill called, furiously tugging at the front door.

"Move!" Zelos shouted, pushing Yggdrasill aside and pressing the intercom button. There was a soft, annoying tune and a clicking sound.

"Lord Yuan- I mean… _the mysterious and anonymous Renegade leader_, is not at home right now! Leave a message after the beep and get lost, you nosy git!" said a recorded voice. It was followed by a loud beep.

"Yuan! Kratos! We're in trouble! Open up!" Zelos shouted. There was a silence, and another clicking sound.

"What the hell do you want?" asked Yuan's annoyed voice on the other side of the intercom.

"We're being chased by an angry mob! Let us in!"

"Uhm… We're kinda busy now…" Yuan coughed slightly.

"Just open the door, before they stab us with their pitchforks and rip us apart! I order you to do as I say!" Yggdrasill shouted.

"Oh fine. Just wait in the hallway then, while me and Kratos go find our clothes." Yuan sighed in a disappointed voice, while an annoyed groan could be heard in the background. There was a clicking sound again, and the door opened. Zelos and Yggdrasill quickly dove into the hallway and closed the door behind them, just as the angry mob had finally broken the twig that was barricading the gate.

* * *

((Wellllll? Did you not love this chapter? Mheheheheh... Their hard work against discrimination isn't really paying off, is it?)) 

((I didn't originally plan this chapter, but I wanted to have the guys do some more protesting, and have 'm pay a visit to the Renegade base. So that's what I wrote.))


	11. Chapter ten

Tales of Symphonia, idiot seraphim.

((A/N: Yeah, I was a bit swamped with schoolwork yesterday. But here's the next chapter!

**Scorch the hedgehog:** I don't think he'll ever learn. He's pretty stubborn.

**Katandshadow:** Glad you liked that scene. Well, there isn't really any major Yuan/Kratos stuff ahead, but I haven't written the last chapter yet, so anything could happen.

**Luciado:** Yes... Trees... The trees shall inheret the earth.

**Everyone else:** Yes people, line up! Today the special reviewing prize is a piece of Yuan's clothing. I've got gloves, socks, a shirt... Pants...But I'm keeping the cape for myself!))

Yuan: _In his underwear:_ "Damn you! Thief! Hand over my clothes now!"

((Eeep! Hurry everyone! Grab some clothes and run!))

* * *

Chapter 10.

"Well, it looks like they're gone now." Zelos said, staring out the window. After a few hours of trying to destroy Yuan's front door, the angry mob had finally given up and returned to Triet.

"Alright. Well, we'll be on our way too. You uhm… go ahead and continue with what you were doing…" Mithos said slowly. Kratos and Yuan looked at each other for a few seconds.

"Nah. You guys have broken the mood. We'll go back to Vinheim the second too." Kratos announced.

"Well, alright then." Mithos shrugged, and the gang left the Renegade base.

"So I've got a new idea for anti-discrimation." Mithos said in their next meeting.

"Oh boy. This will be good." Yuan said sarcastically.

"After we, by which I mean me, Martel and bluehaired guy, got banned from Heimdall, it seems all half-elves were banned. So I suggest we go there and protest."

"Protest?" Zelos inquired.

"Yeah. We'll make signs, and a catchy slogan, and we'll boycott the village! All in favour, raise hands!" Mithos grinned.

"This can never be good. It'll go wrong. I know it will." Zelos muttered. But Yuan and Kratos seemed to think it was a good idea, because their hands shot into the air.

"Majority rules. Time for mission Boycott at Heim!" Mithos decided.

"We'll get attacked by a mod again! I can just feel it!" Zelos whined.

Soon the guys were walking around in circles at Heimdall's gate, shouting random things such as "Unban the half-elves!" and "Down with discrimination! Mithos for president!"

A few people in Heimdall stared at them, but others ignored them completely.

"This isn't really working, is it?" Zelos asked after ten minutes.

"Yes it is. See? A few people are supporting us!" Mithos grinned.

"Mithos, those are squirrels. And I doubt they are supporting us, as they're throwing nuts at us." Zelos said, watching a few rabid squirrels who were squeaking wildly from the sidelines.

"Always the critic, aren't you?"

"Mithos Yggdrasill, you punk!" called a voice.

"Oh no! It's the elder! Ruuun!" Mithos shouted, and Zelos turned around to see the village elder limping towards them, shaking his cane angrily. Mithos, Yuan and Kratos quickly dashed off into different directions.

"Guys, wait for me!" Zelos called. He tried to run away but tripped over a rock, and fell with his face in the mud.

"Well well, what have we here? Trying to cause an uproar in my village, are you?" the elder asked, looming over him.

"No! We were just- Ow ow ow!" the elder had grabbed Zelos by his ear, and was pulling him to his feet.

"What do you think you're doing, hanging out with riffraff like that Mithos character?"

"We're trying to end discrimination and- ow!" the elder pulled Zelos's ear again.

"I wonder if they'll come save you in an overly dramatic way." The elder wondered. And he was right. Soon Mithos and the others had appeared again. They had crossed out the old words on their signs, and replaced them with "Free Zelos!"

"Let Zelos go! Let Zelos go!" the guys called, as they paraded around again, waving their signs.

"Mithos Yggdrasill, it is time to compromise." The elder announced.

"We're listening."

"I return this kid to you, and you never show your face here again!"

"Interesting. But I've got a better idea." Mithos said thinking.

"Mithos, don't push your luck! –ow, my ear!" Zelos whined.

"You return Zelos to us, and unban the half-elves, and we will make sure you never have to see us again."

"Oh, very well. Half-elves can come into the village, but they can't use our facilities. Furthermore, not only are you and Yuan banned, but so are Kratos and this guy." The elder replied. Mithos had a quick huddle with Yuan and Kratos, to discuss their options. Then he turned back to the elder.

"Deal!" Mithos nodded. The elder let go of Zelos's ear and pushed him forward with his cane.

"Ow! I can walk by myself!" Zelos shouted. "Senile old fool…" he added in a whisper.

"I heard that!" the elder said, prodding Zelos in his back one last time, before returning to the village.

* * *

((More radicalness! This chapter wasn't originally planned either, but I found that the fic was a bit too short, and added an extra chapter.))

((Oh, for those who didn't get it, by 'blue-haired guy' Mithos meant Yuan. I'm not sure if Yuan and Martel were banned too, but I decided to take the shot. If they weren't banned before, they sure are now!))

Yuan: "There you are! Return those clothes!"

((Never!))


	12. Chapter eleven

Tales of Symphonia, idiot seraphim.

((Hm? Only three reviews in two days? Ohwell...

**Blackdrak:** That's how it always goes isn't it? Zelos just isn't as hardcore as the other guys. But the three have been through quite a lot. Just give Zelos like... a thousand years... and he'll be yelling at little girls too.

**Scorch the hedgehog: **Oh yes... I see... Well, in that case... (_gives Scorch one of Yuan's spare capes_)

Yuan: "Stay out of my closet, woman!"

**Lady Rina aka Katra (that was Katra, right?):** Oh, an 'item' eh?Hehehehehe...

**Everyone else:** Well, thank you all sooo much for reading/reviewing!We're nearing the end!))

* * *

Chapter 11.

And once again it was time for a meeting.

"Well guys, mission Boycott at Heim was a complete success!" Mithos said proudly.

"Speak for yourself. You got me and Kratos banned from that place too." Zelos replied grumpily.

"True. But we all must make sacrifices for a world free of discrimination. And Heimdall is a boring old village anyway." Mithos said airily. "Now, on with the next matter on our agenda. My four thousand and thirteenth birthday is approaching, so it is time for our usual party."

"It's that time of the year again already?" Yuan sighed.

"Now, as we all made lots of new friends, I suggest we invite Lloyd and his group too. Well, except for Colette ofcourse." Mithos announced.

"Oh, good idea." Kratos nodded.

"How about we throw a fancy dinner party, and the guests should come in couples?" Zelos suggested.

"Oh! Even better idea!" Kratos called, and Mithos gave him a quick glare.

"Couples eh? So that's me and Kratos, Mithos and Genis…" Yuan started counting people down on his fingers.

"I'll go with Sheena!" Zelos called quickly.

"Alright. In that case, Kratos can be in charge of finding a place to keep the party, Yuan can design the invitations and Zelos can hand them out." Mithos said.

"Yeah, alright. Seems fair." Kratos nodded.

"Meeting adjourned!" Mithos called.

Soon, Kratos had arranged that they hold their party at the Church of Martel in Flanoir, and Yuan had printed out lovely invitations.

"Okay Zelos, start delivering." The blue-haired angel said, thrusting a bag of invites in Zelos's arms.

"And remember, not Colette." Kratos added.

"Yeah yeah. I'm on my way." Zelos muttered, heading for the elevator. Soon he was on his way to find Genis and Raine. After a few inquiries, he found them at Mizuho.

"Invitations for Mithos's party?" Raine asked, as Genis stared at the invites.

"Yes. At Flanoir. You should come in couples. Well, except for Genis ofcourse. He's with the birthday boy." Zelos rolled his eyes, as Genis hopped up and down excitedly.

"Let's go sis! Can we? Can we?" he asked.

"Yeah, alright." Raine replied.

"Oh, where's Sheena? I have an invitation for her too." Zelos said, looking around wildly.

"Sheena's at the supermarket. I suggest you come back after delivering the other invitations first." Raine said in a know-it-all way.

"That's a major detour, but alright." Zelos sighed, picking up his bag of invites and leaving the village.

After a few hours he arrived at the Lezareno company in Altamira.

"Mithos is throwing a party, and he invited me?" Regal raised an eyebrow.

"Yes, I find it a bit odd too, but it's his party." Zelos shrugged.

"I think I have time in my busy schedule to hop by."

"You should come in couples. Which reminds me, could you give this invitation to Presea?" Zelos handed another invite to Regal.

"Sure. Oh, should we bring presents?"

"Uhm… I think so…" Zelos blinked.

"Very well. See you then." Regal pressed a button on his desk, and Zelos was escorted out by two large bodyguards.

A few more hours later, Zelos was sitting in Lloyd's office.

"So, here's your invitation. And uhm… Bring a friend."

"But who should I go with?" Lloyd asked, staring at the invitation.

"I don't know. As long at it's not Colette. Maybe Raine's still available." Zelos said distractedly.

"Oh… Alright…" Lloyd said slowly.

"Well, see you later Lloyd. I still have one more invitation to deliver." Zelos waved cheerfully, and left the office.

* * *

((You can just see it coming can't you?))

((See Katra? I told you I'd use your idea!))

((And, oh yeah, the guys pretty much own all the churches of Martel, so they can totally hold parties there if they want to. Or destroy the place. But that would be pretty bad, because those churches are in memory of Martel. This way, Mithos can still kinda have his birthday with Martel. Awww...))


	13. Chapter twelve

Tales of Symphonia, idiot seraphim.

((Do do dooo... Another update...

**Katandshadow:** Well, as you can see, it is this weekend! (_highfives_)

**Blackdrak:** Wow, you can like... see into the future man! Or it was just really really obvious. And predictable.

**Gyppygirl2021: **Really? Seraph? But in all the fanfics I've read they use Seraphim as singular form. We were all wrong! (_bangs head on the table_) Well, I'm too lazy to change it all now. Still, thanks for the info. It'll be useful if I ever write another ToS fanfic.

**Everyone else:** This is the... second to last chapter I believe. Unless the epilogue will be long enough to be an entirely new chapter. But I doubt it.So keep reading and reviewing, and I'll upload the last chapters as soon as possible!))

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Chapter 12. 

Zelos arrived at Mizuho again and spotted Sheena. He quickly approached her.

"Hey Sheena! I've got a-"

"An invitation for me for Mithos's party? Yes, I know. Raine already told me." Sheena cut in.

"Oh, ok. In that case, would you do me the honour of going with me?" Zelos asked in his most charming voice.

"I'm sorry. I've already agreed to go with Raine." Sheena said quickly.

"With Raine? But… But… Who am I supposed to go with?" Zelos stuttered.

"I don't know. Maybe Lloyd's still available." Sheena shrugged.

"Ah! But Sheen!"

"Later Zelos!" Sheena stole the last invitation from Zelos's bag and left. Zelos mumbled something incoherent, cursing his luck. But why was he happy that he could go with Lloyd?

"What, did you forget something?" Lloyd asked, looking up from his paperwork as Zelos walked into his office the second time that day.

"Well, I just heard that Raine will be going to the party with Sheena." Zelos replied.

"Hmmhmm…" Lloyd returned to his paperwork.

"So the only ones left without a partner are you and me."

"Uhuh…"

'_Oh, come on! Catch the hint!'_ Zelos thought furiously. _'Time to do this the hard way.'_

"So I'll come pick you up at your place Saturday at five! Okay, bye now!" Zelos said quickly, hurrying out the door before Lloyd could say anything else.

And so Saturday approached, and after picking up Genis, the four Seraphim headed for Lloyd's place.

"Good luck." Kratos grinned, patting Zelos on the shoulder, and pushing him towards the house. Now that Lloyd was the owner of a large company, he no longer lived with Dirk, but in a large mansion next to the dwarf.

_'Eep! Okay, no pressure. Just ring the bell… You're the great Zelos! He wouldn't dare agree to go with anyone else!'_ Zelos thought nervously, approaching the large door. It opened just as Zelos walked up the front steps.

"Hey Zelos!" Lloyd said cheerfully. There was a small silence. "What are you staring at? Let's go."

"Well I-"

"You thought I'd go with someone else?" Lloyd guessed. "Why would I? We agreed to go together didn't we?"

"Ah… Yes." Zelos nodded.

"Let's get going, everyone is waiting." Lloyd pointed at the guys behind them, who were tapping their feet impatiently. Kratos, on the other hand, was taking lots of pictures.

"My little boy's first date!" he sniffed dramatically.

And so the gang arrived at the church of Martel in Flanoir. As usual, it was snowing heavily.

"Damn, I'm freezing. Let's go inside." Yuan decided, opening the door. The entire church had been redecorated to host one hell of a dinner party.

"The food looks great." Lloyd gasped.

"I'd be careful. Yuan was in charge of catering." Zelos said warningly.

"What do you have against muskrat anyway?" Yuan asked darkly. After a few minutes, Regal and Presea arrived at the scene.

"Happy birthday Mithos! I didn't know what to bring you so… uhm…" Regal handed Mithos a 'Get into Altamira's theme park the rest of your life for free' coupon.

"Oh, I love theme parks!" Mithos grinned.

"Here Mithos, I made it myself." Presea said, holding out a statue of an angel chopped out of a block of wood.

"Uhm… Thanks." Mithos quickly threw it into the garbage when Presea wasn't looking.

"Oh, everyone's here already?" Sheena asked, as she and Raine walked through the door.

"There's a small blizzard going on outside…" Raine said darkly, shaking the snow off her coat.

"Who cares? More presents!" Mithos called.

"Ah. Yes. Here you go." Sheena handed him a necklace.

"What is it?"

"It's a charm against angry mobs." Sheena grinned, and everyone doubled up with laughter.

* * *

((Cliffhanger! What are the other presents? And will the gang survive Yuan's cooking? You'll read it next chapter!)) 


	14. Chapter thirteen

Tales of Symphonia, idiot seraphim.

((A/N: Well, my guess is that this will be the last real chapter. I suppose the last bit of the story will be an epilogue, and will be uploaded tomorrow.

**Blackdrak:** The life of a Seraph is though. And, as Kratos once said, there are people who reject salvation. (_giggles_)

**Gyppygirl2021:** I won't tell. Heheh. I'm glad you're expanding your horizon. Because, well, the difference between two guys/girls loving each other, and 'regular'love isn't that big. It's just a whole bunch of prejudice and old habits. (That sounded a bit gay...)

**Katra:** You'd survive Muskrat? Hm, I don't know if I could... I'd probably feed it to Noishe and spend the rest of the evening staring at Yuan himself. (_more giggling_)

**Everyone else:** Enjoy, enjoy!))

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Chapter 13.

"This is from me." Raine said, holding out a big box.

"Ooooh!" Mithos quickly ripped it open. "It's a… rock?"

"Not just any rock! It's a fossil!" Raine went into her hyper ruin mode. "Just look at the way the creature has been perfectly preserved! It's obviously a very-"

"Let's just leave her to talk for a few hours." Genis cut through Raine's long explanation. "Here's my gift."

"Ooh! Discolights! You always know just what I want!" Mithos said happily, opening Genis's box. Genis grinned sheepishly.

"I suppose my present will be a bit cheap compared to this…" Lloyd said slowly, taking a small package out of his pocket. Mithos opened it and stared.

"But this is a Frolex! The most expensive watch in existence!"

"And it works on solarpower." Lloyd added.

"Just how much money do you earn, if you consider this cheap?" Yuan asked, staring at it too.

"That information is private."

"Oh. Well, this is my present." Zelos handed Mithos a large bottle of champagne.

"Excellent!" Mithos grinned.

"Time for my present." Kratos said, holding out a long package.

"What is this?" Mithos quickly ripped off the paper.

"It's a sword! I worked months on this one!"

"But Kratos… I don't fight with swords…"

"One is never too old to learn." Kratos grinned.

"Uhm… Thanks. I'll keep that in mind." Mithos tossed the sword away carelessly.

"Last one." Yuan said, holding out his package.

"Oooh boy! It's… It's… What the hell?" Mithos stared.

"It's deodorant! You really need it." Yuan laughed.

"I'll kill you!" Mithos growled, throwing the can of deodorant at Yuan's head and sending a few Judgement rays after it.

"My spleen! I'm dying! Can't you take a joke?" Yuan called from the floor. Kratos sighed and used a First aid spell.

Soon the dinner party was on it's way. Yuan found it very odd that most people hardly touched his cooking. And due to some reason he couldn't figure out, the pizza guy arrived thirty minutes later with ten extra large pizzas that they were forced to pay for.

"Can't let this go to waste, can we?" Zelos said quickly, picking up a slice.

"Oh yes. We'd better make sure to eat it all!" Raine agreed, as everyone quickly joined in.

"But I've still got plenty of mystery stew!" Yuan called sadly.

"Aw, don't worry Yuan. I'll eat it…" Kratos said. The brown-haired angel was without a doubt the only person in existence who actually liked Yuan's cooking. ((A/N: Katandshadow claims she would survive the cooking... But would she like it?))

After a few hours, Zelos decided to go outside and get some fresh air. The blizzard had calmed down, but it was still snowing. Zelos stood on the balcony that looked out over the village, and stared at the falling snowflakes. He was reminded of that time a few months ago, before they went to face Mithos. He and Lloyd had been standing on that same balcony, and Zelos had told him all about his past, and how he felt about the world. That vision had changed a bit now. But he still couldn't stand snow.

"Hey Zelos."

"Hm?" Zelos turned around to face Lloyd. "What are you doing out here?"

"I could ask you the same thing. Why aren't you inside partying? I'm pretty sure Mithos has opened your bottle of champagne by now." Lloyd said.

"The place still reeks of Yuan's mystery stew." Zelos shuddered.

"True." Lloyd stood on the balcony and stared at the village too.

_'Should I say something? Or not? I might end up embarrassing myself. Then again, the great Zelos knows no shame. Just defeat. Hm… Alright, I'll go for it.'_

"Hey Lloyd?"

"Hm?"

"I think I might…" Zelos mumbled something.

"What was that?"

"I said, I think I might, perhaps, possibly… have feelings for you." Zelos turned red, and stared at the village below them.

"I thought you were acting odd lately." Lloyd said. "Well, atleast you're better than Colette. Or Genis… Or Regal…"

"Heheh, yeah. Imagine you and Regal. He's such an ogre." Zelos grinned.

"You said it. He's such a big oaf!" Lloyd laughed. Regal, who had just stepped outside for some fresh air, started crying like a little girl and ran back into the church. There was a long silence.

"So… We're cool?" Zelos asked.

"Yes."

"Bud!" Zelos shouted cheerfully, giving Lloyd a big, rib-cracking hug.

"Can't… breathe!" Lloyd gasped.

* * *

((To all you people who actually like Regal: "I'm sorry!"))

((To all you people who don't like Regal: "Heeheeheeh! Ogre!"))

((What will happen to Lloyd and Zelos? Did Kratos actually survive the mystery stew? Stay tuned for the epilogue!))


	15. Epilogue

Tales of Symphonia, idiot seraphim.

Epilogue.

Around twelve o'clock the people of Flanoir started complaining about the noise, and everyone was forced to go home.

The next morning Kratos, Yuan, Mithos and Genis were sitting in the kitchen in Vinheim having breakfast.

"Well Mithos, it's about time I head home." Genis decided, getting to his feet.

"Oh, okay. Later Genis!" Mithos called, waving merrily. Just as Genis walked out the door, Zelos entered. He looked very much like a zombie, his long lush hair standing slightly on end.

"Mornin' guys." He muttered, sitting down. The others replied with low, hung-over grunts.

"You know, Mithos, what you are doing with Genis… Technically it could be considered paedophilia. You are four thousand years older than him." Yuan said suddenly.

"Yeah? Well I… You… Oh, shut up!" Mithos grumbled, turning to his breakfast.

"See, me and Kratos, we're about the same age." Yuan continued, putting his arms around said auburn-haired angel.

"Yuan, please. I'm trying to eat." Kratos said grumpily, not even bothering to pay attention to the arguments anymore.

"I find it strange how a _man_ your age could like little boys." Yuan said mockingly.

"I told you to shut up!" Mithos growled.

"What do you do on your _playdates_ anyway? Play doctor?"

It only took Mithos one second to change into Yggdrasill, jump to Yuan's throat, push him against the wall and get ready to punch him in face. His fist stopped a few inches in front of Yuan's nose however, as the kitchen door opened again. Kratos dropped the sandwich that was halfway to his mouth, as everyone stared at the boy who came shuffling into the kitchen.

"Mornin' Lloyd." Zelos said. Lloyd replied with a low "Meh.". His hair was standing even more on end than usual, and he looked as though he had a very rough night. Yggdrasill accidentally let go of Yuan, who fell to the floor.

"Have a sandwich." Zelos grabbed a few slices of bread and held them out to Lloyd who accepted them, before heading out the door again.

"Later Lloyd!" Zelos called after him.

"Later…" Lloyd grunted, closing the door behind him again.

"… What?" Zelos asked after a long silence. The three seraphim were now staring at him. "We used protection, so it's not like he's going to get pregnant or anything…"

"Zelos, you truly are the biggest idiot of us all…" Kratos sighed, hiding his face in his hands.

**End!**

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((Eh? Eh? What did you think? Yes, I know I said the epilogue would be up yesterday, but I couldn't concentrate very well, and I still had to make some final alterations.))

((So... Oh yeah, I wanna give credit to my sister, for a fewjokes (though I can't remember which are hers) I wanna credit my buddy Jan, who urged me to play the game. And I wanna credit the people of Tales studio, who created the loverly characters of Tales of Symphonia. To everyone who reviewed: Thank you! It always makes me happy to hear I can make other people smile.))

((Right now I'm debating whether I should write a sequel, or a serious (not comedy) KratosxYuan story. The problems with sequels however, is that the storyline lacks... story, and the jokes won't be as funny. I've had that trouble before. Then again, those KratosxYuan stories have already been done before. So I'll let you guys decide.))

((Oh, right, to **Katandshadow**. You and your friend aregonna dress up as Yuan and Kratos for Halloween? That is sooo cool! You simply MUST send me pictures!))


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